Friday, May 26, 2006

Troubled Thoughts: Missused Psychology

How I love the wisdom of the ancients. Some disciples of knowledge were held sacred in the ancient world, as in the case of the ancient chinese. They were kept as a secret and not taught except for those who reach a certain level of wisdom, knowledge and spirituality. Although this might sound like it's unfair, but they truely had a point. Certain kinds of knowledge would lead to disastrous effects when left in ignorant or evil hands.

Psychology is one thing that had been misused to the fullest. Business psychology.. psychology for sales and marketing and advertisements... and.. and.. Instead of being directed towards trying to understand the human self, reaching down to the soul and trying to get out the best in people and form a better person out of oneself, psychology has became a tool to play with human creatures, by manipulating their inner selves, for no other reason but to get more money out of them; money and power.. those destructive illusions... Knowledge is power indeed. And in this open era we're living it it has become impossible to keep any of it 'hidden'. Psychology is one disciple that had been missused to the fullest. And the result? I guess we'll all be paying for it.

Troubled Thoughts: Michavillians

If you'r not true to yourself, to your heart, to what you believe in... then I don't see what's the point in anything you do. What's the point in saying one thing while you are feeling another? Nothing you achieve is truely yours, it belongs to the mask you were wearing, the one you were pretending to be, to the lie you were telling. The most dangerous lie is the one you start believing yourself. Soon enough, all the lies you have told start creeping up into you like poison.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Tag

1- Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as your dinner guest? As your close friend? As your lover?
Dinner guest: I’d have chosen Mother Theressa or Ghandi, but they are already gone.
Close friend: Well my existing close friends, no more no less.
Lover: No names come to mind.

2- Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by five years to become extremely attractive?
Define “extremely attractive”. I wouldn’t care about a general rating for my attractiveness… I might consider the question though if it’s being more attractive to the person I love… but then, would he want me to pass away five years earlier just to look more attractive to him? :D da yeb2a nadl awy (A)

3- Would you rather spend a month on vacation with your parents or put in overtime at your current job for four weeks without extra compensation?
Well I’d take the vacation; spend a week with my family, 2 weeks and a half with my friends and half a week on my own.

4- When did you last cry by yourself? In front of another person?
Cry by myself: 15 minutes ago.
In front of another person: This afternoon.

5- If 100 people your age were chosen at random, how many do you think you'd find leading a more satisfying life than yours?
Define a “satisfying life”. Is the question those who’d find their lives more satisfying or that I’d see their life as more satisfying? I guess I am content with my life Thank God.

6- If you had the choice of one intimate soul mate and no other close friends, or of no such soul mate and many friends and acquaintances, which would you choose?
I can’t survive without my close friends. Also, a soul mate can be a blessing or a curse sometimes. I wouldn’t mind one though.

7- Do you think your friends would agree with one another about the kind of person you are?Hmm… it’s hard to tell. I don’t agree with myself about the kind of person I am. I guess certain friends would see some sides clearly, but the others would be dimmed. While others would see the other dimmed ones, with an obscurity on the ones seen clearly by group1 (umm.. My moon sign is gimini, u know? :P).

8- Would you prefer to be blind or deaf?
Neither, but deaf would be more bearable. At least I won’t be hearing any nonsense gossip or backbiting.

9- How many of your friendships have lasted more than ten years? Which of your current friends do you feel will still be important to you ten years from now?
Two I guess, may be three.
It’s not only up to me. It depends highly on the mutual willingness to keep the bond. I’d say 5 or 6 of my current closest friends (hopefully).

10- If you could mould to your liking your memories of any past experience, would you do so?Huh?.

11- Would you be content with a marriage of the highest quality in all respects but one that it completely lacked sex?
"Highest quality " as in what?? (Copied and pasted from Rain’s answer :P smart one ya Rain (A) ). Well actually not, taking into consideration being human, umm… and a Taurus, Leo, Cancer combination (A)

12- If you were happily married, and then met someone you felt was certain to always bring you deeply passionate, intoxicating love, would you leave your spouse? What if you had kids?
I’m determined not to get married unless I do have such feelings for the one I’m marrying in the first place.

13- Relative of the population at large? How do you rate your physical attractiveness? Your intelligence? Your personality?
Physical attractiveness: May be we should go ask “the population at large” :P.
My intelligence: There are different aspects to intelligence. My language, emotional and personal intelligence are doing pretty well I believe. My social and girly chit chatting intelligence is kinda (or waaaaay) below average. Analytical is good, problem solving, observance and memory fluctuate based on many factors. (I did say my analytical intelligence is good, didn’t I (A) :P).
My personality: Well... Puzzling! It’s full of too many different things; some are just a shell, others represent the core. The opinion would vary based on the angle you are looking from.

14- If you could script the basic plot for the dream you will have tonight, what would the story be?
umm... connection to server failed. (I hate geek talk, but I guess I’d only get technical nightmares tonight for some reason).

15- While out one day, you are surprised to see your father holding hands with someone who is clearly his lover, he begs you not to say anything to your mother. How would you respond? What if your mother later told you that she was going crazy thinking that your father was having an affair yet knew it was just her imagination?
My father is a Virgo :D I don’t even have to consider that possibility (A).

16- If you had to spend the next 2 years inside a small but fully provisioned Antarctic shelter with one other person, whom would you like to have with you?
Someone I’m so deeply in love with, and married to.

17- You become involved romantically but after 6 months realize you need to end the relationship. If you were certain the person would commit suicide if you were to leave and were also certain you could not be happy with the person, what would you do?
I would keep thinking and thinking and thinking, and feeling guilty more and more each day until I realize I can’t go on. I’d never want to be in the position of being with someone who’s not in love with me and accordingly I wouldn’t want to put anyone in such a position. I would try to provide support after the break-up and convince him to see things in the right perspective and forget the “Committing suicide” idea.

18- What was your most enjoyable dream? Your worst nightmare?
Best: I can’t remember one specifcally, but something that would involve a garden full of roses and butterflies or something that would have an exotic beach in a deserted island (6 days 7 nights movie kinda thing).
Worst: Going out in the street and realizing I don’t have my shoes on or Falling. I used to get those dreams when I was a little girl but not anymore. Also the one having to do with being in an exam and not caring abt answering a thing at the beginning then running out of time at the end(A).

19- If by sacrificing your life you could contribute so much to the world you would be honored by all nations, would you be willing to do so? If so, would you make the sacrifice knowing that someone you thoroughly disliked would received that honor while you went unrecognized?
I wouldn't care about acknowledgement, but I might think twice about how my family and close friends would feel. I would tell them all about it first, spend as much time as I can with them, give them huge teary hugs and bid them a warm farewell. I don’t like the “Elephants go hide when they feel they are dying” kinda thing.

20- Would you like your spouse to be both smarter and more attractive than you are?
Smarter definitely, more attractive… hmm... may be :P.

21- You discover that your wonderful one-year-old child is, because of a mix-up at the hospital, not yours. Would you want to exchange the child to try and correct the mistake?
Logic says yes. But it’s impossible to answer not being in the situation and not having experienced maternity feelings yet. But I’d make sure both kids would be part of my life somehow.

22- When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
To myself : Yesterday.
To someone else : can’t remember.

23- Which sex do you think has it easier in our culture? Have you ever wished you were of the opposite sex?
MEN of course. Not really, although I’m not content with all the fun I’m missing, but I do love my feminity (A).

24- What are your most compulsive habits? Do you regularly struggle to break these habits?Umm… nopes I guess I’m more of an impulsive person. I find it hard to maintain a habit in the first place (A).

25- Would you enjoy spending a month of solitude in a beautiful natural setting? Food and shelter would be provided but you would not see another person.
Nopes nopes nopesssss.
I’d have liked the idea if asked a few years ago, but not anymore.

26- If you knew you would die of an incurable disease within 3 months, would you allow yourself to be frozen within the week if you knew it would give you a modest chance of being revived in 1,000 years and living a greatly extended life?
Huh? And wake up in a time that is not mine, among strangers, 1000 years from now in a world getting colder and colder everyday? No thank you! I’d rather live every moment of those 3 months and try to make the best out of them among my loved ones.

27- You are invited to a party that will be attended by many fascinating people you have never met. Would you want to go if you had to go by yourself?
I could go yes. My sense of adventure is sometimes high.

28- If you were at a friend's house for thanksgiving dinner and you found a dead cockroach in your salad, what would you do?
I won't eat the salad and won't make a fuss about it.

29- If someone you love deeply is brutally murdered and you know the identity of the murderer, who unfortunately is acquitted of the crime. Would you seek revenge?
Well I wouldn’t kill, but I’d make sure to rid the world of him “somehow”.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

A phonecall

I love it when I call in and hear their voices. I feel that troubled part of me has found some peace. I wanted to call today, my dad told me it's pointless as the birthday was already a few days back. I didn't listen. I wanted a reason to make that phonecall. I miss them, and wish I was playing a bigger role in their lives. It could be the only relief for me; to see them going on and to see the little one growing up and help draw a smile on their faces. I always wish I could call in more often, but I'm terrible with phonecalls. I don't quite know what to say. But today I did, and I feel much better already. I was told the little angelic one is in deep sleep, wearing little pistaccio pyjamas with two little teddy bears :) I want to seeeeee herrrrrr :D

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Birthdaaaaaaayyy :D

This year was the first time since the age of 5 to be able to celebrate my birthday without having an exam the next day, in a week, in two weeks, well.. you get the picture! I've been looking forward to this one since... forever, esp. after having some ppl born in July tease me about it a couple of years ago (A)... anyways :D
So I gave my friends such a headache.. I was like.. what do you mean I can't organize a birthday party..!! Poor Justin got to hear most of my zannnnnnn ya 7aram, along with Moon, who kanet betektem her laughing bel 3afia :P (A)
But I actually enjoyed every single moment of it. It was like.. whenever I thought I knew what's going on it turns out there were more surprises :D Never did I enjoy surprises sooooooooo much before !! :D
I'm not exactly the kind of person who knows how to communicate her feelings or thoughts right on the spot, so I usually come home feeling I have soo much to say. So I wanna say a few things, from the safe hiding of my blog.

I'll start with my guests of honour; E., M. and K.
It was really great having you there :D I have zanneet for it, but I didn't know you'd make it. Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu so much :)

To E.: Thank you so much for passing by :) It had been ages since I last saw you.

To A.: Masmiesh Susu :P Plus... Beware of kolla man ektaraba men al ard :P I'll come holding a Samurai sword next time (A). Forget about all what I just said :P Thank youu :)

To K.: It was really great having you there. I know you always have thousands of things to do and I really appreciated it. A big big thank you from a little Butterfly sister :)

And now.. to the Organizing Committee...
Silver Moon: You wouldn't tell me all the details, but having Justin within the crew gave me lots of insight (A):P Begadd Thank you so much my dear Moon, talla3t 3eenek !! It was all so amazing my Silver Moonlight Shadow :) I wish you all the best dear :)

Dear Suma: I look back and remember... 6, 7, 8, ......, 21, 22, 23.. My patient friend and pure angel :) Thank you so much for being there, thank you so much for always having been there, for better and for worse and for having been able to bear the annoying me (A)

Frick: Thank you for being there dear :) Rabbena ye2awwieky 3ala el 3eiaal elly fe ra2abtek :P

Sweet Rain: As always, the sweetest drops of wisdom descending on mother earth, touching the very core and bringing life to all. Thank you so so much my dear friend for caring and for never giving up on your friends. I pray for all the best for you dear :)

To Ahmed: Men bo22ak le baab el sama, just like I told you there (A) :P

And to the sweetest couple; Rain and Ahmed: Nemo and Kouky beyssallemo 3aleeko :D Kukie's trying to find some peace, while Nemo's doing sprints here and there and hitting little Kukie, who's trying to hide by the wall. LOL!!!

Bondo2a: Howa ana lessa bardo mafhemtesh how come we didn't become that close except that late :P Ahe dy elly assammiha moshkela be sa7ie7 (A) :P Merci ya Battouta 7'ales 7'aaalesss we ya Rabb nefdal friends 3ala toul.. ya Beeta ;) we Rabbena ma3aky wey2awwieky ya Benty wey2addemlek elly fieh el 7'eer :)

Kunoichi: We really gotta form a sort of "Girl Power United" group; start a footie and dance team and make Nutty Tart our logo :D Thank you so much :) and sorry you couldn't reach Justin when we were there, but I couldn't help eny a3'alles 3aleeh and take his mobile away (A).

Sensei Ryu: Yalla ya 3amm ra22eetek we 7'alleetak Sensei, tedfa3 kaam? :P Merci Beaucoup mon ami :) Mezabbatny enta dolphin and butterfly we 7arakaat :D Bass ya3ny howwa ya3ny.. just for the records ya3ny :P... my birthday is on 14th actually not the day of the surprise party, therefore we conclude that you didn't have to tell me happy birthday when u logged in the midnight before it and you could safely talk... ya to7fa :P

Shimooooo: I really hoped to see you.. Thank you soooo much for making it to the Sunday surprize :D

Aaaaaaaand Last But DEFINITELY not least
Justin: As caring as always :) ana lessa can't understand how you bear me aslan assaassan assaassan ya3ny, not to mention being the nagging kid that I am, wel zann elly zanneeto 3aleek this time :P You think you're evil... Huh.. eb2a abelny :P I congratulate you for having been able to hold the surprise as a secret until that day :P

Friday, May 12, 2006

Only Time - Enya

Who can say where the road goes,
Where the day flows, only time?

And who can say if your love grows,
As your heart chose, only time?

Who can say why your heart sighs,
As your life flies, only time?

And who can say why your heart cries
when your love lies, only time?

Who can say when the roads meet,
That love might be, in your heart?

and who can say when the day sleeps,
and the night keeps all your heart?

Night keeps all your heart...

Who can say if your love grows,
As your heart chose, only time?

And who can say where the road goes
Where the day flows, only time?

Who knows? Only time
Who knows? Only time

Thanks K. for showing me the beauty of this lyrics :)

Thursday, May 11, 2006

One Moment in Time

It's weird how we can take things for granted. One moment you're expecting them to last forever, then you find them getting lost, like tiny grains of sand slipping through your fingers. If only one could go back in time, enjoy and cherish every moment...

Try to enjoy every moment that passes by you, cherish everyone and everything around you. You never know what could be missing from the picture tomorrow...

A Dream..

I dreamt of her last night. She had survived and was still with us. We could hear her voice once again and see her smile...
A dream indeed.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Left Out

Till when would I have that feeling of being distant.. of being left out..?

Monday, May 01, 2006

My Sanctuary

I saw Innocence in its purest form,
I saw hope, love and tenderness,
I saw the smile we're all missing,
... all in the eyes of a child.
I feel like I have been washed from inside,
Like that innocence has flown into me,
It has become my sanctuary.

A Word of Wisdom


أولادكم ليسوا أولاداً لكم. إنهم أبناء وبنات الحياة المشتاقة إلى نفسها، بكم يأتون إلى العالم ولكن ليس منكم. ومع أنهم يعيشون معكم فهم ليسوا ملكاً لكم. - جبران خليل جبران