:(

"I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old."

"I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health."

"I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death.'

"All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them.'

"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand."

I came across this article which presents the Buddha five Rememberances (the statements above) and advises us to use them in yoga meditation. It says that once you accept the reality of impermanence, you begin to realize that grasping and clinging are suffering, as well as the causes of suffering, and with that realization you can let go and celebrate life. The problem is not that things change, but that you try to live as if they don't.

True as it all sounds I just plain hate it. I don't mind 1,2,3 or 5. It's 4 that really rings a bell. It's not like it's the first time for me to hear this. I am aware of that fact, yet in denial. An almost willful ignoring of reality, a reality that I don't seem to accept or give in to easily. I'm rather trying to resist it with all the strength. The article suggests that "You may experience huge relief as the energy you've spent denying and hiding from the truth is liberated to move freely through your body." as you let the remembrances sink deep into you. They are saying this about people that just hide from it, then how about one that tries to resist it?! They don't really need to tell me. I feel it already. I feel so tied down. I can't move on and I don't want to. All I want is to be surrounded by the people I love and appreciate dearly for the rest of my life. I only feel safe when they are around, when I know I can run to them and cry. I never want to lose our connections; connections so deep and meaningful with people that are simply so rare to find.